‘Mummy can we have some of that Judith Priest again?’
‘Judith Priest sounds like a retired geography teacher. Judas Priest are one of the greatest metal bands of all time’
‘Whatever Mum. Actually can we have just have One Direction’
You may think that a battered Chrysler Grand Voyager- crammed with booster seats, empty crisp packets and Dora The Explorer DVDs, and with a lingering aroma of vomit- is the least metal vehicle imaginable. But you would be wrong, because my school runs are seriously Metal.
I spend about two hours in the car every day ferrying the kids to one thing and another, and although for half of that time I’m forced to listen to the Peppa Pig sing-along CD or some other tinny nightmare, my beloved Chrysler starts blasting distorted guitars the minute I can offload the children from it. Until my metal renaissance, the beep of the electronic key as I approached the car would trigger an involuntary inner sigh, the knowledge that I would have to waste another half-hour of my life sitting in traffic. But now I looked forward to these musical interludes as my favourite times of the day. Our went Radio 4’s Today programme, out went the audionovels and improving podcasts, and in came the heavy metal canon.
If you want to metal-up your school run, try these for starters:
Ozzy Osbourne ‘Blizzard of Ozz’ (1980)
The kids will love Crazy Train
Slayer ‘Reign In Blood’ (1986)
Nasty, vicious, required listening
Carcass ‘Heartwork’ (1993)
The birth of melodic death metal
Exodus ‘Blood In Blood Out’ (1985)
I love thrash, and you will too
Iron Maiden ‘Powerslave’ (1984)
Hard to pick a favourite Iron Maiden, but this has some of my favourites including Aces High, 2 Minutes to Midnight and Powerslave
Judas Priest ‘Painkiller’ (1990)
That’s Judas, not Judith, kids. A classic.
Metallica ‘Metallica’ (1991)
A controversial choice, as it’s their ‘soft’ album, but let’s just admit how good it is
Megadeth ‘Dystopia’ (2016)
Dave Mustaine’s 30-year revenge campaign against Metallica continues apace, and he hasn’t changed the formula
Meshuggah ‘The Violent Sleep of Reason’ (2016)
Who knew 23/8 was even a time signature? Challenge yourself with the Swedish mathcore innovators.
Rotting Christ ‘Rituals’ (2016)
Mystical Greek black metal. For dark days